MY LIFE IS A SOAP OPERA,

I'm just in a euphoric state of mind that I can't explain...

It sounds like the lyric to a song but it's not!

Today I went for a very stereotypical bike ride in the city, what can I say, we Europeans...

I just had to think about stuff
I had important stuff to do
And I just blew it all
To go for a random bike ride alone
Like an Italian movie from the 20s

It was beautiful
I felt light for once
I was flying


I was thinking about how I spent a night with the guy of my DREAMS after getting drunk at a party,
and now he won't call me... it's ok...
that one night stand was better than nothing. It was better than not ever getting to have him

FOR ONE NIGHT

HE WAS MINE

And he is probably never going to be mine again

I'm gonna shower now, I smell like cigarettes

I wish for all of you to one day feel how I felt that night...

What I Took From London and NY Fashion Weeks :)

1. Skinny Is Still IN ;)

2. New trends to try out when I go to Milan:

Metallics

Sporty

Tropical prints

Color block dressing

Peplum

Wet hair

Red lips

Crazy lips

Bold eyebrows

Dramatic eyes

Streaks of color

Wild nails

3. Well some thinspo, of course!

Felder Felder

 Damn!

PPQ 

A fat girl could NEVER wear this...

ADAM

This is my new desktop background ^.^

Weird Nightly Thoughts and Cool Stuff For You All

Cool thing # 1:

What I wrote in my diary last night

Today was not necessarily a sad day, I'd say it was more of an... interesting day.
It's interesting how I cannot help feeling fat, regardless of what I do or of what I am told.
Right now I see the fat, and what's worse is that I feel the fat, I feel it on me, in all its disgustingness, surrounding my body like a lazy but poisonous animal. I need to get rid of it!
Because there's so much fat surrounding me, I find it harder to run or to do dance stretches, which are vital to my career.
It is really
frustrating.
I want it GONE.
I am not comfortable in my own skin, I don't want to look like this, I don't feel at ease in this body...
I am not who I
want to be,
in any way.
It's gotten so bad that I hardly ever go out anymore if I don't have to.
I'm constantly observed and scrutinized by everyone, and I feel like I should just constantly stay locked up in the house so that I don't put anyone through the torture of having to look at me.
...
... ...
... ... ...
Today's fast went well...

Cool thing # 2:

This article

http://www.huffingtonpost.co.uk/2011/09/13/legal-high-ivory-wave-sho_n_959668.html
What do you think?
Should it be made illegal?
They say it works like Ritalin, I wonder if it makes you skinnier too?
(Disclaimer: I am NOT curious enough about this to try it out. No thanks, I already have enough "issues")

Cool thing # 3:

Sum thinspo!!!

Cool thing # 4:

Kool BLOG list!

Crazy is better when we're crazy together.

My Ways To Skinny

Between Hurricane & Harbor

gonna be skinny, coming?

Skinny Minny Skinny Minny Skinny Minny

I just want to be a skeleton!


Is that really too much to ask? It seems like it's really not.


I want to be so thin I can walk on water!


Now THAT is too much to ask.


Being super skinny should not be this hard.


And to those who have been asking about my stats, I'd just rather not tell.....


Actually, I can't tell. Because I have a thing called scale-o-phobia.


I'm not gonna weigh myself until my ribs stick out like in the photo I put up in one of my old posts, which coincidentally also happens to be my most popular one...


I'm gonna become skinny. Anorexic. Tiny. Little. Thin. Beautiful.


And then, I'm going to burn the bridge to fatness, so I don't ever have to go back. So that I can never go back to being this horrible blob.




<3 Don't worry ladies, this was just a thought. It's actually been a wonderful day. I wish the best to all of you <3
Stay skinny and lovely,
Miana, the forever loyal

Just another day hugging porcelain

The title sounds so pretty, doesn't it? It's weird, because it wasn't pretty for me.

The weight of getting older

Falls right upon my shoulders

~ Outasight

Stay skinny

Stay mine

Stay lovely

Miana

I wanna ****, Government Hooker

Lotsa shyte going on lately.
What better to make you start a new diet than a recent heartbreak (see last post) and finding out all your friends are bullshyte?? This, of course, in addition to your feeling fat as usual.

Or more than usual?
It's getting late and the only calories I've had today were a yoghurt... and the Martini in my hand right now.

Sip.
Sip.

I wanna hear your stories, skinny lovers, give me the best you've got.

xoxxxx, Miana

Love and Martinis

4 p.m.
Should I write a real diary?

Today, in a couple of hours, I'm going downtown to meet up with a guy that was introduced to me a couple of weeks ago by a best friend of mine, also a classmate of his. We kissed some nights ago, after a drunken evening (but the kiss was pure- it was true).
I don't understand him.
I figured that I would understand him after this same friend of ours explained how, even though he truly and really likes me, he's... "awkward" with girls (I might have even been his first kiss- why does this keep happening to me?).
I still don't understand him and what is going through his mind.
What's worse is that he is leaving for Madrid tomorrow - for a week. I know a week is not that long at all, but I'm frazzled by this need to "reflect" that he is expressing. I don't want to be waiting around for anyone! What also doesn't help is the fact that every guy friend of mine who has gone to Spain on vacation has always found tons of horny girls to treat them like gods.... I shouldn't be scared, but I feel weird?
Also, I must go... to give him his Raybans back :)


8 p.m.
I'm back.
It's over.




I told him I wasn't willing to wait, he admitted he wasn't feeling very serious about it... the end. Some things are just solved simply like that for me.


Exceeeepttt....
I was on the bus, and this phrase in my head kept repeating louder and louder:
" I would have waited for him..... "
Ugh. FML? Nah, it's not that bad.
I just need a Martini. AGAIN...

~ but I should've kept his Raybans... ~

Til next time, 
Miana