Here it is. Ana's Creed.
I believe in control, the only force mighty enough to bring order in the chaos that is my world.
I believe that I am the most vile, worthless an useless person ever have to existed on this planet, and that I am totally unworthy of anyone's time and attention.
I believe in oughts, musts and shoulds, as unbreakable laws to determine my daily behaviour.
I believe in perfection and strive to attain it.
I believe in salvation trough starvation.
I believe in calorie counters as the inspired word of God, and memorize then accordingly.
I believe in bathroom scales as an indicator of my daily successes and failures.
I believe in hell, 'cause sometimes I think I live in it.
I believe in a wholly black an white world, the losing of weight, recrimination for sins, the alonegation of the body and a life ever fasting.
Today, I recited this. A laptop in my left hand, a knife in the other.
Just like some devil-worshiper that the people here fear worse than the devil itself.
But don't worry.
I didn't hurt myself. Too much.
...I need help.
I'm sorry you are hurting:( Please know you are not alone
ReplyDeleteyou grab a knife and i grab a 250 degree curling iron to put to my wrist. i feel your pain. and i live by this creed. i completely understand. together... we can do this.
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