What I gotz 2 say:!?:

@Heather: the song is "Another Failure" (lolll) by Masterstroke :D:D
@Starving Artist: thanks hun! :)
@Wings to set me free: XOXOXOOXOXOXOOOXXX

So, today was (again) kind of another failure, and I must apologize to you guys, to Ana, but most of all to MYSELF...
but on a positive note, I started to exercise A LOT more :)))
..and on a DOUBLY positive note...
I can feel my hipbones ;)

XOXOXOXOXOXXX

Stay strong.
Our LIFESTYLE will work in the end. I hate triggering people, yes I do, but I'm always here to support. I love y'all.

I am the most vile, worthless

So, sorry for my little fit of depression.
Not that today helped much, especially when your skinnier-than-you mother decides she wants you to bake and that includes you making TWO ethnic recipes.
Aaaaand you find out thaaat.... *drumroll pleaze* you don't have anyone to give the damned cookies away to!

Yuck.

That would be my new (and first) Thinspo video on Youtube. Enjoy!

Gosh girls, I really need some words of encouragement right now. Tomorrow I be doing a cleanse!
XOOOOOOXXX

Careful. THIS MAY BE TRIGGERING.

So, I decided it was time already for me to post it as well.
Here it is. Ana's Creed.

I believe in control, the only force mighty enough to bring order in the chaos that is my world. 

I believe that I am the most vile, worthless an useless person ever have to existed on this planet, and that I am totally unworthy of anyone's time and attention.

I believe in oughts, musts and shoulds, as unbreakable laws to determine my daily behaviour.

I believe in perfection and strive to attain it.

I believe in salvation trough starvation.

I believe in calorie counters as the inspired word of God, and memorize then accordingly.

I believe in bathroom scales as an indicator of my daily successes and failures.

I believe in hell, 'cause sometimes I think I live in it.

I believe in a wholly black an white world, the losing of weight, recrimination for sins, the alonegation of the body and a life ever fasting. 

Today, I recited this. A laptop in my left hand, a knife in the other.

Just like some devil-worshiper that the people here fear worse than the devil itself.

But don't worry.

I didn't hurt myself.     Too much.

...I need help.

GIRL # 2 THINSPO!!

Here she is!

^I had to cover a brand name on this one ^

^This is my FAVORITE. Her collarbone...oh my gosh.^

What do you think?

I've got many more pics coming up!! Can't wait!

Today was okay with intake, yesterday was better...but I'm not upset :P

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOOXOXOXOXOXOXOOOOXXXXOXOXOXOXOXXX

So, I told you gals I would be giving special thanks to certain bloggers who left very nice commenties lately..

imperfection-xo
Sottile
a friend of ana
Heather
Honor Regzig
sofia
jessa
Believe&&Lose
annamaria
Brooklynn

Thanks so much for all your love!
You should all check them out. They are amazing people, whether you've heard of them or not :P

Also, on a side note, I wanna start doing something called "mutual shoutout":

Somebody sends me an email or leaves me a comment saying they'll give me a shout out on their blog

I'll give them a shout out back, which will include a sentence or two on their awesomeness.

Sound good?

:D

I'm SO glad you liked my last thinspo post.

I swear, that girl is amazing. She is everything that I want to be, especially physically. She is real. Those pics are real.

I'll be posting more pics of GIRL 2 this weekend! There are A LOT more of this one ;)

Also, what celeb would you guys like me to make thinspo out of? Personally, I like Whitney Port's BODY (hint: not a big fan of her :P )

XOXOXOOXOXOX!!

Miana

FIRST Real Girl Thinspo Segment!!

Hi beautifuls!! How've you been?
Well, remember how I promised some thinspo for y'all?

Here it is, GIRL 1:

Well, isn't she beautiful??
Haha, sorry I had to crop the face out or cover it, it's just that this is a REAL GIRL and I know her and want to protect her identity, which is why I also made them black and white (to make them less recognizable...), but it's ok, cause I find black and white to be so flattering and classy :D
This is such an awesome and successful girl, plus she has the best body I have ever seen...her only fault is that she gets really offended or upset if she's told that she looks really skinny or anorexic. Are you kidding me?? I would die...of JOY!! lol I am so jealous of her but don't hate her.
Again, this is a  real girl :) These pics were taken professionally, except for one, and they are NOT photoshopped.
Wow.
I'm gonna upload pics of REAL GIRL 2 this weekend! And there are a lot of them!

Tell me what you think!!

XOXXxxxox

PS: I'm also gonna try to write a post sometime about how awesome certain people who COMMENT are! If you wanna be among those, please leave me some love down below! Thaaaanks! :)

Girls, this is what happens...

So, here's my rendition of the day:

Ate a bunch of shyte even though she said she wouldn't.

Theeennnn....

Depression

=

Alcohol

+

Over-the-counters overdose and abuse (ibuprofen and benadryl for the most part)

+

Caffeine from Diet Pepsi

=

Insane "FourLoko" effect that makes you type on your blog really fast but at the same time you have almost no idea what the crap you're typing but oh well back to my life now I am such a fatass

But, I swear, I'm fasting AND cleansing tomorrow.

AND....Ill probably stop doing dumb shyte like this...oh my God in the High Heavens...I can see my veins throbbing and everything else is blurry...Imma go lie down now...

I FREAKIN LOVE YOU GALS

MY SKINNY, SKINNY LOVELY PEOPLE

LEAVE ME SOME undeserved LOVE DOWN BELOW EN LOS COMENTOS!

I like stealing wine from my parents' cellar.

Just sayin'.

Teeeeehee!

Hey beautifuls, don't forget to vote on my poll on the sidebar!! Please be honest ;) This is critically important to me!

Also, you'll find the link to share posts and to add me on Facebook or email me there.

I LOVE YOU ALL!!

All the help I can get...

Guess who's getting a "psychiatric evaluation" next week! Wtf does that even mean?

hwell, basically, it means I have had enough. I've had enough of all these Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder meltdowns, I've had enough of my inability to pay attention or stay focused on ANYTHING for more than five minutes at a time, no matter how hard I try.

What I will not mention for sure though, to my dear future psychiatrist friend, is my ED. It's just a part of me that I'm not ready to let go of yet...perhaps in the future when/if I learn to control my OCD and my mania for order I will reevaluate that. But probably not. Hunger (hah) for order and control doesn't just go away - which is why if I allow myself to eat "normally" I end up freaking out and being depressed for like a week straight, but if I starve...I'm strangely happy.

Right now I'm wearing my favorite pair of dark turquoise Forever 21 jeans. I forgot what size they are, I don't even wanna know. What I do know, though is that they used to fit so much looser. Well maybe not that much. But, they were indeed very spacious! Now they're snug. The waistline is still loose, but my thies (the FATTEST part of me) are very much filling in these jeans nicely. And by nicely, I mean like a f**king fatass. Literally. Fat Ass.

Lol. I just wanna laugh at myself.

Then vomit.

Today my mum decided she was gonna get up "early" (as in two hours after I do, heehee) and that she wanted to eat breakfast out. F. F. F. F. F!

Strangely enough, breakfast is my favorite meal to eat in a restaurant, especially when it's very early. I love the dim light that slowly gets brighter and brighter as you look out the restaurant window.

That said, "all" I ate was an oily stupid egg white omelette with tomato slices on it, then I left all the sides for my mum dear.

I though that would keep me full throughout the day, especially since that was the biggest meal I had had in a long while, but boy was I wrong. I ate a stupid piece of bread, then a WHOLE stupid banana, and *drum roll please*.......my worse f**king nightmare.....ladies and gentlemen....I introduce to you.....a piece of CHOCOLATE!!!!!

*Boo sounds that overlap with cheering sounds*

God I'm so damn weird.

And the only exercise I did today was an hour of dance, and walking for ten minutes. Bleh. At least it was pretty hardcore - literally, since we did enough ab workouts to make my abs feel like they're bleeding!!

Mk so that was my day.

Any words of encouragement pleaze?? :P :P

Sorry for the super-long post, BTW.

I FREAKIN LOVE YOU ALL.

xox, ~ Miana

PS: Coming soon: I'm going to add a new Thinspo page to my blog, partially comprised of real original pictures taken by me, all blurred out and stuff. I'd really appreciate it if you skinny beautiful people would send me some links? Comment below or email me, or Facebook me (link at the top of the side bar). Byez!

HORBATH

Lol. Horbath is the name of a Shakespearean character.

I AM OFFICIAL A PR0STYTUTE. (intentionally misspelled, my lady friends)

Why do I say that, you ask? Well, I shall tell.

I keep hooking up with a man I don't even like. He's rich. He buys me things. He pays for everything all the time, as if it was a chivalrous thing to do. I keep hooking up with him. He is less attractive than I am. I get giddy when he spends hundreds on me. I let him buy me booze and do him more and more the more booze I get. I do not love him. He loves me. I am hurting him without him even realizing it. I picture someone else when our bodies are glued together. I just close my eyes and picture another man. A more attractive man, with a better personality. I have told all my friends that "eventually" I'll break up with him, and that I only like his money. He does me, thinking we're in love. What a fool he is. And what a bitch I am. What a fat, fat, whore I have turned into.

PS: Isla Lynn dearest, why is it that I can't seem to be able to post comments on your blog? :'(