Oh wow. I feel so hysterical right now.
And not the funny way.
I am bawling. I am stressed. I a
m fat. I am overloaded with work. I am blogging instead of doing that work. I am having potentially serious heart issues and only I know the true reason why. I am a liar.
But, I am hopeful. I love my ANAs. I love my pets. I love my true friends. I love blogger. I love supporting you all, as you do for me.
Today, I had the dreaded doc appointment.
Luckily, I am not getting my blood drawn until Thursday! Thank goodness! Really!
But IDK why I'm sounding so positive right now, I really shouldn't be. I am suffering symtoms of acid reflux and perhaps acid erosion near my diaphragm. No one asked me if I throw up. Luckily. But, seriously, after hearing all that the Doc said, me revealing that would have resolved the whole investigation.
Excpet I probably would've been put into psychiatric help.
And thank goodness no one pointed out the big drop in weight.
Well.........now I can explain my chest/heart pains. But I don't like it. I don't like it one bit. And I hate being on meds because of something I've caused.
What I must do now:
- stop purging!
- stop binging!!
- start sticking to ALL fasts and restrictions
- believe in myself
- do my work and not procrastinate
- ...and watch the fat melt away....
Who's with me??