Tuesday, October 12, 2010

stop crying...just stop...ANA help me.

Oh wow. I feel so hysterical right now.

And not the funny way.

I am bawling. I am stressed. I a

m fat. I am overloaded with work. I am blogging instead of doing that work. I am having potentially serious heart issues and only I know the true reason why. I am a liar.


But, I am hopeful. I love my ANAs. I love my pets. I love my true friends. I love blogger. I love supporting you all, as you do for me.



Today, I had the dreaded doc appointment.

Luckily, I am not getting my blood drawn until Thursday! Thank goodness! Really!

But IDK why I'm sounding so positive right now, I really shouldn't be. I am suffering symtoms of acid reflux and perhaps acid erosion near my diaphragm. No one asked me if I throw up. Luckily. But, seriously, after hearing all that the Doc said, me revealing that would have resolved the whole investigation.

Excpet I probably would've been put into psychiatric help.

And thank goodness no one pointed out the big drop in weight.

Well.........now I can explain my chest/heart pains. But I don't like it. I don't like it one bit. And I hate being on meds because of something I've caused.


What I must do now:

- stop purging!

- stop binging!!

- start sticking to ALL fasts and restrictions

- believe in myself

- do my work and not procrastinate

- ...and watch the fat melt away....


Who's with me??

XOXOXOXOOXOXOXOXOOXOXOXOOXOXOOX

9 comments:

  1. I am sorry to hear that your health isn't that great :/ ...Let me know if I can help you in any way! xoxo

    If you feel like binging and purging then don't... instead eat veggies and fruit! :]

    Stay Strong!

    ReplyDelete
  2. If you're seeing health symptoms you really should stop purging. There truly are other ways to lose weight. Eat healthy, and excercise like crazy. I know a girl who was diagnosed with bulimia but she never purged, her complusion was over excercising. (not that I reccommend it, but I do think you should switch your method of weight loss for sure)

    I hope you're doing okay! Dont let this stress get to you girly, we're all here for you.

    ReplyDelete
  3. That is a wonderful plan my lovely, Brittany is right about the fruits and veggies too, they help regulate cravings. I prepare them when I'm not hungry and take them with me so I won't have to enter the kitchen and be around food when I am hungry. I try to over exercise instead of purge.. sometimes it gets to me and I have to but exercising makes me feel better than purging does.

    ReplyDelete
  4. i am so glad you're hopeful- many people wouldn't have such a great outlook as you do. at least you are making an effort to stop b/p and know where your medical issues are coming from.

    you are very strong, we all know this, so FUCK b/p, hug your pets, and catch up on some work :)

    ReplyDelete
  5. I got it in like a deal, so I'm not quite sure how much the lipofuze is by itself.

    I got 3 bottles of lipofuze with 2 free bottles of this 3 day detox thing. All of that together was $133.00. Kind of expensive, but worth it. I've already lost 2 pounds, and it's been less than a week lol

    ReplyDelete
  6. And no, it's not hard to find. You can just go to lipofuze.com lol. Or you can even search it on google or bing and get it first try lol

    ReplyDelete
  7. I'm so sorry to hear that you're sick,honey. I'm really sorry that you have to take medications and go to the doctor. I'm with ya a 100% tho on the "no binging" and the "follow fast" rules. Stay strong girl and don't purge..
    <3 lots of love <3

    ReplyDelete
  8. I am so sorry to hear about the heart and acid-reflux problems. But this just gives you new motivation to restrict even more! I am so with you :) Watch us disappear! xoxo

    ReplyDelete
  9. Please promise your girls that you will take care of yourself. I'm officially worried about you, Miana. I agree with you that the purging must stop, but it's going to be really hard. I hope you understand that. I'm with you, Miana. If you ever need anything email me. I'll be here.

    I love you, sweets.

    ReplyDelete

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