Wednesday, September 22, 2010

Mid-Week, oh Mid-Week

It's pretty early in the morning for me right now.

I have this habit of waking up at 4 am every day just so I can wake up and take my time doing everything and getting ready.

I wish I could say that I've been pretty good so far, but I only feel that way mentally because I've been punishing myself lately...

Basically, because of school contests, friends' pressure, et cetera, I was forced to eat some junk food, which I really hate, 'cause even when I ate "normally" (aka "like a fatty") I never really ate anything such as doughnuts, krapfens,...

So every day when I got home I did the toughest and longest exercise routine I've ever gotten used to doing! And I just kept fasting until the next day. For these two reasons, my abs an sides are really sore, and my organs are screaming for foods that consist of something other than coffee, water, some yogurt, and the occasional junk that my peers may as well force-feed me with.

So, all of this has been taking somewhat of a toll on my grades...oh well. It's okay with me, because I finally decided what I want to be in the future (career-wise), and I think I'll be fine!

I haven't really weighed myself lately...perhaps I'm too scared.

Speaking of which, you know the two ana-mia bracelets I had just made for myself? Lol, I lost them for like a day and a half... :P then my mum found them where I left them accidentally...near the scale!! Lol, fortunately she has no clue as to what they mean.

But she is getting sort of suspicious, especially because now I weigh less than her for the first time in a long while, and she's an inch schorter than I am (I'm 5'4"...the tallest girl in my family!).

I'm not too worried about her suspicions, especially because I don't get to see her much (we're both Uber-busy) and when I do, she's usually working on her laptop or doing crafts, and she likes the silence.

To me, it's a deafening silence...but it's also my safe zone with her.

So yah, I kinda need support right now...not as much as a couple weeks ago or so when I was on a binge tangent, but I'm still kind of gloomy :/

I love you all skinnies!!



  1. Good job with the exercising. Even though having sore muscles is usually a real pain, it somehow gives me a euphoric sensation. Knowing that I've worked my butt off and the pain proves it. Be careful with your mother, she might not be around a lot, but she might start noticing something.

    Good luck sweetie <33

  2. Well donne exercising, you really do sound like your in control and calm and collected hehe :) you said you'de decided what you want to do in the future, what did you decide on? We are all here to support you, i shall post some thinspo just for you :) xxxxxx

  3. Ive fallen off of the excercise wagon lately :( way tooo much schoolwork, its horrid how much of my time it takes up. So I'm especially proud of you for excercising like crazy. What do you want to be?! Let me know if you need anything.. not sure what I can give but I'm here for you!

  4. if your muscles hurt you mite want to try muscle milk light after you work out its only 100 cal.

  5. Oh wow thanks all of you guys :)))))))
    these are all really awesom tips!
    I want to study Biochemistry in my home country!

  6. Wow! I'm so proud of you!
    And haha, I have that weird thing with waking up early, I wake up at 5:21 every morning for no reason other than to get ready!
    And I check my phone CONSTANTLY before I fall asleep to make sure I actually DID put the alarm on and it's at the right time and such, so embarassing :$

  7. omg same here!!
    we must be related. lol
    thanks btw :-)

  8. I just started reading your blog and I love your strength and enthusiasm! You have my support, I know how you feel though, when friends make you eat. I get dragged to the cafe sometimes after practice and I always get comments about how little is on my plate. Screw them! If only they knew our strength!

  9. i agree.
    i look at people who eat what they call "normal" portions and i feel disgusted.
    yay for breakthroughs!
    thank you so much for your support!!


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