Friday, September 17, 2010

Ugh...I feel...

I feel..
confused, disgusted, hopeful, punishing, hurt...
story of my life!

After Tuesday and half of Wednesday spent bingeing, I sat down in front of my mirror and made my priorities clear to myself.
I looked up some thinspo, I read some quotes, made myslf a new bracelet and now I feel...a little better.

I ate very little the rest of Wednesday and all of Thursday (yesterday) and now I dropped to 119.5. No celebration allowed. LOL. I'm gonna die a little inside if my weight is gonna spike up again tomorrow.
Just a couple hours ago my mind went blank and I totally binged on some sweet granola..ick...sugar, saturated fats...
So.......I purged it all out.
And I realized physical pain means nothing.

Xoxo beauties.

For some strange reason, my mum told me that I had lost "enough" weight.
I couldn't help but sincerely believe that she was feeling jealous and/or intimidated because she's weighed more than me all my life, and recently she dropped to like 10 pounds less than me, and now I weigh less than her again! She noticed that I did lose like 15 pounds...
All of this fuels my passion, dears.

Tell me what you think


  1. My mom told me the same thing, though not because we compete. I'd love to tell every girl on here that she's lost "enough weight", but obviously that wouldn't do a damn thing, cause it doesnt for me when I hear it. So instead, I'm going to say congrats on getting to 119, I'm happy for you!

  2. thanks, i now what you mean :)
    yup we never meant to compete, but i'm gonna be the jerk here and go ahead and say that it is mostly on hr, kinda hard to understand.


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